Scorpion Alert!

 

Scorpion Alert!'

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When I moved to Mexico, one of the first things I learned was to check inside my shoes before inserting feet. Evidently that is a popular hiding place, nesting site, attack barricade for scorpions.

Next, I was told, never go barefoot. Not outside. Not inside. Thus, my night sandals live at bedside.

One thing I can tell you for sure, if you’ve never in your life seen a scorpion, when you first see one, you will know exactly what it is, no doubts. Same as when you first hear a rattlesnake. It must be knowledge imprinted in our genes.

When I bounced out of bed this morning, I slipped my feet into my sandals, and stepped on an adult scorpion and killed it dead.

My other theory is that I slid into my sandals half asleep in the dark of the night and unknowingly slayed the dragon.

I neither heard the death cries nor felt the crunch. There it lay, splayed out on the tile floor between my sandals which now loosely held my feet. 

Think about it. Just let your imagination slither around the thought of a full-grown scorpion (Babies carry poison too but the big ones are scarier.) there at the edge of your bed. How did it get inside? How long has it been here? Could there be a mate, possibly between my sheets? Hey, somebody has to think of these things.

Yikes! The sheets. I haven’t had my coffee yet, but I ripped the sheets off the bed, making sure I wasn’t sleeping with a scorpion, not that I haven’t . . . but that is ancient history, a page in my colorful past, and we won’t go there. All clear. I do nothing until I’ve had my coffee. Except in extreme circumstances.

Still without coffee, I hauled sheets to the bodega and started a wash cycle. Grabbed the “Home Defense” which I buy in gallon jugs from a Big Box Store in Guadalajara, sprayed the bodega, sprayed the house inside, especially around the door and windows and beneath the sinks.

Whew. Now I felt free to make coffee. I’d done all I could for the time. Once I’d fueled enough to face the day, I hied off to find Leo, to report my scorpion attack (Who attacked whom? Who cares?) In half an hour Leo came and sprayed the outside perimeters of my house and bodega with something even stronger than Home Defense.

Just in case I misled you to think I’m all Zen and compassionate to all creatures, let me assure you, my empathy, sympathy, love are selective. I cheerfully escort spiders outside to continue life in the open unless they exceed a certain size. See, selective.

I’m Death Wearing Shoes to scorpions, millipedes and earwigs. Okay, earwigs are harmless but they make me feel squeamish and they eat holes in clothing. And during the rainy season, soon to come, I hope, they slither into the house in hordes. I also buy Raid in bulk but it takes a lot of Raid spray to stop a scorpion.

A smidgeon of online research informed me that Montana has one species of scorpion, mostly harmless, seldom stings people. I’ve never seen one of those. But I’ve been stung by a Mexican scorpion and I don’t recommend the experience.

The operative words from my research that would put me on scorpion alert are “mostly harmless” and “seldom sting”. Right. By the way, I own a time share on the beach that I’ll sell you cheap.

Sondra Ashton

HDN: Looking out my back door

May 27, 2021

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