Tuesday, July 24, 2018

I’m Not There; I’m Here


            I’m Not There; I’m Here
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            I like to mix my metaphors. Images impossible evolve. In partnership with Jim, I bought a pig-in-a-poke, a hot tub that wasn’t working.

            Between Jim’s persistence (stubbornness) and Josue’s electrical knowledge, said pig works like a hot-diggity-dog. To me, it’s a gift of finest sensibilities. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Our horse on pig’s trotters didn’t have a full set of teeth; no matter, easily (cheaply) resolved.

            With tub fully functioning, precipitating daily dips, I discovered it best to wait until the sun went down to indulge. The UV index here hits the extreme zone daily. Which led me to want/need an umbrella. Explored options via internet. Said umbrella that would work properly cost five times the cost of the tub. Sheesh.

            Leo and I put our heads together and chewed our brains. Several restaurants in town have open courtyards with an overhead canopy of mesh-material. Might that work?

            Three days later Leo installed my sombra canopy. It’s perfect. Total cost of $55.00. And it shades my two south windows, thus keeping my casita cooler. I indulged in shady afternoon dips (as opposed to burning sun splashes).

            Purely on a whim, the other day I boarded the posh autobus from Zapopan and ran away to Mazatlan. Even now, I’m not sure my motivation to leave perfection, a working tub, a new shade, garden growing like Jack’s magic beans, sunshine days, rainy nights, for a country of high humidity and scorching temperatures.

            Because I could? Because I love Mazatlan? Because . . .

            This trip already had an ominous beginning. I’m almost afraid to leave my hotel room. Almost superstitious.

            Ominous. Our bus was delayed by four unusual security stops along the highway.

            Then I arrived to a packed lobby, thousand-thousand persons, all checking in. My name made the bottom of the list. Two hours later, hot, tired, shaky and crabby, I entered my room and collapsed. Threw open the windows and turned off the air-icer.

            Crawled in bed at 6:30. Pitiful, I admit. Phone rang in the middle of the night. Woke me from dead sleep. “Please close your windows. It is storming.”

            Indeed. Spectacular lightning over the ocean. The wind had whipped my curtains out the window, flapping in a wild attempt to sail the seas to China.

            I complied and collapsed back into bed. All I could think was I’d have to replace shredded curtains. I was too tired to inspect them. That would take, what, two minutes? No, I chose half-sleep worry.

            Once fully awake, in the morning light, I inspected for damage. Curtains were intact. I delivered a small propina for the night manager, in gratitude for the middle-of-the-night wake up. Cheaper than new curtains.

            Then I sold my morning soul to a time-share presenter in exchange for a week of internet which would have cost me the equivalent of three months service at home. Sheesh. I managed to squiggle through without too much slime.

            This was not my ideal holiday. I headed to my room to recuperate.

            Only to find that the elevators in the lobby were all out of order. There are four elevators to the Tower. And one set of stairs. I had chosen to stay in the fancy place.

            As I contemplated trudging eighteen flights of stairs with a cane, a maid descended to the lobby. She opened the elevator door. Several of us rushed past her onto the elevator and ascended, gratefully. Am I the only one seeing a pattern?

            I had my friend Carlos drive me to Callecita for carnitas de atun, a favorite meal in a favorite place in Old Town. On the way back we mussed, by minutes, a huge slab of window-wall glass that fell from a second story bank building onto a white SUV. If I were superstitious . . .

            In my room, I worked a system of open windows, curtains to the walls, chairs in corners, with low risk for storm damage. In bed early. Dreamed of soaking in my tub.

            No further mishaps. As I said, I’m not superstitious. I’m not.

            Thunder rumbles the skies. Rain has come, has gone, will come again. It’s a good day to hang out under a palapa on the beach, contemplate the seas, book nearby, stay out of elevators and off the streets.

Sondra Ashton
HDN: Looking out my back door
July 12, 2018
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