Monday, May 12, 2025

Roadkill with Oatmeal Brain

 Roadkill with Oatmeal Brain

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I make plans. Life smashes plans.

Last week I had social plans, lined up, all in a row. Because of trauma dredged up by news of my son, I wanted to cancel all the plans and binge on self-pity. But I was determined to suit up and show up, knowing I would enjoy outings with my good friends despite myself.

You know how sometimes when you awaken, you don’t feel tip-top? But a cup of coffee makes things better, right? In the hour between get-up and the-car-is-leaving-now, I felt “worser” and then “worser”.

With reluctance, I handed my concert ticket to Michelle and said, “Give it to someone, anyone, I don’t care, I can’t go.” On the way out of town they kidnapped Monica, Ana’s niece, and it happened to be her birthday, so wasn’t that perfect?

At home, I had a miserable day, not focused on anything but feeling like roadkill-day-one.

Roadkill-day-two was supposed to be therapy-in-the-pool day. Trying to fool myself that I felt better, I realized I felt worse.

You know that quiet little voice that sometime niggles in your ear and that is easy to ignore? Exactly. That one. Eventually, I paid attention to her and dug my test kit out of medical supplies. When does Positive feel Negative? No, I am not pregnant. I have Covid. I had managed to dodge that bullet through the whole pandemic, until now.

Today, I would not mind if positive meant pregnant. There has been one Virgin Birth. Why not two? My daughter assured me there have been thousands. Thousands claimed, that is.

I quick-told Michelle and Ana that I am poison. They quick-told Kathy, Crin, and Carol to turn around and go home. No pool therapy today. We’d all been together for a Thai feast, all exposed to one another.

Roadkill-day-three I tried to fake that I felt better. It didn’t work. I’m used to pain. I can handle pain, no energy, congestion, fever, chills, swollen glands and all the ugly rest of it. Instead of visiting an archeological ruin, I am one.

The hardest thing for me is oatmeal brain.

I like oatmeal, steaming in the bowl, laced generously with brown sugar, drenched in a lake of milk.

Oatmeal brain feels like cold oatmeal got dumped cold into my brain pan and congealed into a lumpy mass, no sugar, no milk. Incapable of thought impulses. Incapable of creativity. Incapable. Rendering me into a state of stasis.

Roadkill-day four found me no better but I wanted to do just one thing. I had not lifted a finger for any chore since being stricken with the plague. Sweep the floor or wash sheets? I don’t sleep on the floor so that was a decision requiring no brain.

The thing about roadkill is that on the first day one knows that the flat slab once carried life. By day four, roadkill resembles a dirty piece of ancient cardboard. Oatmeal brain turns crusty around the blackening edges.

Day five. Can desiccated cardboard be freeze dried and rejuvenated later, kind of a Resurrection?

The days rolled on monotonously. Until one morning, like magic, I knew my body was being reconstituted.

My brain? Since I’m using breakfast food as an analogy, think of it like a progression. Oatmeal to scrambled eggs to the time honored brains and eggs. Might not get any better than that!

Sondra Ashton

HWC: Looking out my back door

March 27, 2025
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